202201 Problem of not being able to work

• After finishing the exams, I can’t seem to get back into the mode of making progress.

• I can’t articulate it well, but there’s a constant pressure of anxiety that makes it difficult for me to focus and calm down.

  • Specifically, I have anxiety about University Admission Results.
    • Well, that’s unavoidable.
  • I feel the pressure to do something meaningful.
    • I feel pressured to use gapterm meaningfully (kaya).
      • I understand (blu3mo).
    • No, it’s a bit different. I feel the pressure to produce output.
      • Why?
      • I think it’s because of the complex of Can’t Continue Development Even If I Make It.
      • I have various books I want to read, but this anxiety seems to be a headwind to my motivation.
  • Also, I have anxiety about working on things that don’t seem clearly meaningful.
    • Specifically, I’m interested in Haskell, but I’m not planning to use it at the moment, so I’m unsure if it’s worth spending time on it.
    • I don’t know why I’m starting to feel this anxiety now.
      • I think it’s because I’m unsure if I’ll have a Moratorium for the next four years.
  • I also have a problem where I have too many things I want to do and can do, so I can’t concentrate.

• In other words, I think the fundamental cause is the emotional instability of not knowing if I’ll get into university.

  • For now, I just want it to be February 15th as soon as possible (blu3mo)(blu3mo).

• Solutions

  • Forget about the exams?
    • I don’t think that’s possible as long as I’m at home.
    • Maybe distract myself with an Unplanned Trip?
  • Instead of thinking about complicated things, I feel like I can trick myself and start working on something to get the engine running.
    • For now, I think if I force progress on anything, I’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and become happy.
    • Should I do Google Calendar Full Registration Todo Management?
      • It’s great to have a lot of tricks up my sleeve like My Work Management know-how in times like this.