Communication Skills

• In the context of engineering job placement, it is often said that I do not lack information transmission skills.

• However, I struggle with communication beyond that.

• Let’s think about it in more detail.

• Things I can’t do:

  • Getting along with people I meet for the first time and maintaining relationships
  • Talking to classmates and others without hesitation
  • Generally being passive in communication

• Why am I passive in communication?

  • It may be because of a lack of confidence or a sense of weakness in “communication skills”.
    • I think I am not the type who can tell interesting stories, etc.
  • I am excessively afraid of being perceived negatively by others.
  • I overthink things.
    • However, if I can make rational judgments, I shouldn’t be passive.
      • The losses from being passive are greater.
    • This is combined with excessive fear (irrational emotions).
    • In interpersonal communication, there are always uncertain factors, but these factors are overestimated due to fear.

• Personal circumstances:

  • I have been part of the same community since elementary school.

• Why do I want to improve?

  • Communication skills seem to have a greater impact on life satisfaction than income, etc.

• Some people can do “communication beyond information transmission” without psychological barriers.

  • What kind of people?
  • In short, people who can understand (or at least think they can understand) what the other person is thinking.
  • = People with fewer uncertain factors
    • Example 1: e.h.
      • The other person has overwhelming all-directional communication skills.
      • To be more precise, it seems that the other person is expressing their emotions properly, which makes me feel at ease.
    • Example 2: a.k.
      • Comfort due to a long-term relationship.
      • I think the other person has similar thoughts to mine, so it is easier to imagine their thoughts.
    • Example 3: c.m.
      • Comfort due to a long-term relationship.
      • I feel at ease because the other person does not hesitate to assert their opinions (or at least it seems that way).

• I don’t have much fear of communication through writing.

• Why?

  • Maybe because I don’t feel the “human” aspect.
  • = I can avoid the fear of being perceived negatively.

• How can I solve this?

  • Approach 1: Reduce excessive fear (irrational emotions).
  • Approach 2: Reduce uncertain factors.

• How do people with so-called communication skills do it?

• Hypotheses:

  • They may have given up on thinking about what will happen if they do something.
    • Are they enjoying the uncertain factors?
  • They have accumulated experience, so their predictive accuracy has increased and the uncertain factors have decreased.
  • They have a stance of not caring even if they are perceived negatively.
    • Friend C seems to be like this. #Myself